I know, that title is a stretch, shut up and read.
Our heroes wake up to find Kink missing. There seems to have been a bit of a scuffle, but no sign of Kink anywhere. Delta was on guard duty that night, and apparently failed his constitution save for falling asleep. Thank you Eagleman! Hey, by the way, I’ve got a really big craving for a poultry dinner right now… and I don’t feel like traveling!
The heroes continue onwards to the spire in the distance… Feather Gale Spire. People riding gryphons and laughing all day. Oh, so it’s like a country club. Wonderful.
They enter to find Thurl Meroska, a big red-haired guy who for some reason reminds me of the Burgomeister from Quest for Glory IV.
He seems to probably have some information about the missing Delegation of Mirabar, but we’ve got a scripted event to have fun with first – a feast!
The other heroes waited around for the feast to happen, but Cerys decided to go get naked around a bunch of gryphons at the bath house. She gives some food to one of ‘em, and suddenly becomes the gryphon whisperer. “We had a moment there!” Right…
The feast begins, and it’s a great stage-setter for another character, a lute-playing sorceror by the name of Red. After showing off, everyone rolls their eyes and continues eating, but not before the guards bust in to exclaim the finding of a Manticore!
Our heroes mounted up on gryphons and charged out to deal with the problem.
Many soldiers were mortally wounded by it, but that didn’t stop the brave Lucas from swooping in to attack! The Manticore saw him coming, and unleashed shooting spiny hell on him, doing massive damage. Then brave brave Sir Lucas bravely got the fuck outta there!
Holy shit, I didn’t sign up for this!
Note: I know making a Monty Python reference when referring to D&D is equivalently lame as going to a rock concert and shouting “Freebird”, but that reference was absolutely spot on.
Red attempted to show off while attacking, but instead wound up slipping and instead gave a show worthy of an entry into AFV. It was that bad.
Phantar was the one who delivered the final killing blow. Before heading back, however, they discover a pile of bones and blood… rather curious.
So, with everyone back at the spire, they discover more cult activity is apparently happening at the Sacred Stone Monastery. Savra, Thurl’s right-hand woman, reveals more about what’s going on… that the bones they found were of people they had to dispose of. She refers to their reverance to the secret of air, known as yan-c-bin (pronounced yankobean…).
Cerys and Faetra are asked to join the gryphon squad, but they politely decline, realizing that one too many details aren’t adding up with this group of people. Thus, with that decision satisfied, they left, off to the Sacred Stone Monastery.
They were stopped, unfortunately, by a travelling band of soldiers. Red’s first instinct was to cast sleep on everyone. Only one soldier, Timothy (who we’ll never hear from again), was affected, and now the heroes are surrounded with pointy things all aimed at their heads.
Oh.
Day.
Yam.
Thankfully, they were able to talk themselves out of their predicament. The soldier captain introduced himself, and his knights, known as the knights of Samular Carradoon. He directs them to the Sacred Stone Monastery, and leaves in a huff. Well, wasn’t that enlightening?
Now at the Sacred Stone Monastery, the heroes attempt to join the cult of black earth. The 2nd in command is known as Qarbo, which to me looks a lot a portmanteau of Qbert and Carbohydrate, so I guess he likes hopping on blocks, avoiding snakes, and eating lots of pasta.
But before more cheap jokes could be made, shenanigans ensued, and long story short, they fall down a trick staircase that has retracting steps into a pit with a monster… you know, the atypical rancor dilemma.
They find a giant Umber Hulk, which the book says looks like this:
But let’s be honest, really, it’s a shitty kaiju, and it actually looks like this:
Phantar and Red nearly get killed from the ordeal, and Lucas sprays glass all over the thing’s face. But, in the end, the heroes prevail, slaying Derpzilla, and keeping its mandibles as a keepsake. Lucas, not satisfied with only blinding one eye of it during the fight, decides to cut out its other eye and keep it as a token.
Now what will the heroes do? They’re stuck at the bottom of the pit, cultists looming overhead, and lord knows what’s awaiting on the other side of the doors.
Find out next time on, Princes of the Apocalypse!