You know, the story of Kink suddenly going missing in the “official” story to me sounded rushed and lacking in any real thought. So I decided to tell you what really happened that night, and what really happened to Kink, and where he is now.
Everyone fell asleep, including the dipshit who was supposed to be guarding the group. But then…
A bunch of trashy assholes who had been drinking since 9AM that morning appeared outside the guard post, hoping to watch their favorite bardic band, RAWG. The band hadn’t even started before people started puking, pushing each other, and passing out. Kink awakened to the noise, and attempted to break up the madness.
This did not go as planned, as his short Dwarven demeanor was looked at rather condescendingly, and the group picked him up and began to throw him around. Crowd surfing left and right, Kink came close to vomiting as well, and he was certainly getting rather angry.
They dropped him, and he fell on the ground, underneath a swarm of people all trampling around. He had reached the end of his restraint. Kink burst up, and started swinging. Do recall that Kink was one of the 12 high monks! People started dropping left and right, even the stupid band that had finally set up shop.
“Don’t you fuckers know that Pilskont is the best masked band in the land?!”
But it wasn’t enough… another group appeared. They were of the cult of Mariwinian Clouds. Kink would not go down without a fight. He began to run back to the guard tower, but the cultists threw some sleep bombs into the open doorway. Everyone just had their sleepiness reinforced… forcing them to sleep longer. Kink was not happy.
He summoned the power of the elements to assist, and slaughtered every last cultist to oblivion. The energy generated enough destruction to obliterate the bodies outside as well.
Then Death Mwauthzyx showed up, and Kink was all like “oh hell no.” He flew into the sky, and began an epic fighting battle, shooting kamehameha waves and destructo discs in its face. Kink gave an epic punch that sent Death Mwauthzyx into space, but not before Death Mwauthzyx tilted his head satellite dish and warped Kink to an undisclosed area.
Hopefully we’ll hear from Kink again, but for now, we’ll remember him for the badass he really was, and look forward to his next appearance.