Welcome to another installment of “A Critical Look”. I figured I’d done Korn enough, and it was time to venture out a bit into other bands. This song is by a band called Five Finger Death Punch, a band most noted for giving off the image of “holy shit run, they’ll beat me to a pulp!”
I didn’t think much of this song when I’d heard it off the album, but after seeing the video, I was shocked. I can’t even listen to this song now, because every time I get teary-eyed.
Update June 14, 2019: This was a draft back in March 3, 2015. In moving all my blogs over, I discovered that I never finished this post. I’d done most of the work already, but it still wasn’t complete. The challenge here is that I’ve grown greatly in 4 years. It’s difficult for me to pretend to be 4 years younger. Also - Five Finger Death Punch has changed much since I wrote this originally. So for this post, my approach now is to reflect on who I was at the time while showing my how opinion has changed.
Here we go.
Video and Lyrics
It’s caving in around me
What I thought was solid ground
I tried to look the other way
But I couldn’t turn around
It’s OK for you to hate me
For all the things I’ve done
I’ve made a few mistakes
But I’m not the only one
Step away from the ledge
I’m coming down
I could never be
What you want me to
You pulled me under
To save yourself
(Save yourself)
You will never see
What’s inside of me
I pulled you under just to save myself
Was there ever any question
On how much I could take?
You kept feeding me your bullshit
Hoping I would break
Is there anybody out there?
Is there anyone who cares?
Is there anybody listening?
Will they hear my final prayers?
Step away from the ledge
I’m coming down
I could never be
What you want me to
You pulled me under
To save yourself
(Save yourself)
You will never see
What’s inside of me
I pulled you under just to save myself
(Save myself)
It’s caving in around me
(Caving in)
It’s tearing me apart
(Tearing me)
It’s all coming down around me
(Coming down)
Does anyone
Anyone
Care at all?
I will never be
What you want me to
You pull me under
I pull you under
I could never be
What you want me to
You pulled me under
To save yourself
(Save yourself)
You will never see
What’s inside of me
I pulled you under just to save myself
That Video…
Holy shit! That’s a blow to your insides. Well, ok, let’s state the obvious: it’s about suicide. Specifically teen suicide.
I’ve never seen a suicide video that takes it so seriously, and realistically.
The plight of the young man is rather obvious, in that he gets bullied a lot and can’t seem to live up to his father’s expectations.
But it’s the young woman that seems to be a lot more subtle. From what I can gather, she broke up with her boyfriend, and now her ex is spreading gossip and hate amongst the ranks of other kids. He even goes so far as to pass around a naked picture of her that she presumably sent him while they were dating. Tons of lashing from facebook trolls later, and she’s mortified. I also want to know who the white-haired girl is… I don’t believe that’s a friend of hers… If I had to guess, it’s her younger sister who’s loving every second of her big sis’s turmoil. Her mother doesn’t help much when she bursts into her room and hits her with a wrath of shit for this picture being spread around.
I couldn’t help but feel for these two people. And that artistic rendition of the monsters attacking them and killing them. Despite being so overexaggerated, it was a spot-on representation of what’s going on in these kids’ eyes.
Song Meaning
And so begins the part I never finished. It would seem as though the video and the song itself actually differ in meaning. The video is strictly about teen suicide, but the song is really about dealing with an imposing person who you’ve triumphed over. If anything it’s a song about accepting your faults and becoming better than the other person.
Pull you under
The idea here is that both he and the antagonist are drowning in the same water, and previously they pulled him under to “save themself”. This is a metaphor for how bullying works. Instead of improving yourself, you push another down beneath you. This results in you being able to survive another day.
But the end of the chorus shows a different side. Now it is the protagonist who has gained power. Now he is pulling the antagonist under so that he can survive another day.
The younger me would view this as an expression of strength and endurance… that you’ve triumphed over your enemy, and how good that feels. The older me recognizes that this solves nothing. Sure, it may feel good in the short run to know that you can beat your enemy, but you still failed the game. This is just shitty bravado now. “You beat me before, but now I’m back to beat you! Didn’t see that comin’, did ya punk?!” Makes me want to roll my eyes.
Anyone?
Several times the song explores another facet of bullying… the fact that nobody around the situation does anything about it. “Does anyone care at all?” “Is there anybody out there?” “Will they hear my final prayers?”
The younger me would say something to the effect of “All the people who laugh and stand by do nothing to help the situation.”
The older me adds onto that - if you stand idle while someone is abused right in front of you, then you’re tacitly approving the behavior, and you’re actually part of the problem. It’s bad enough someone’s taking abuse, but you just normalized the behavior. It’s not “cool” to step up and denounce such behavior, since now you’re inviting that conflict upon yourself “well looky here, we got us a white-knighting cuck!” And the person you stand up for probably isn’t even someone you like. Nobody ever slow-claps for any bystander who stands up against bullies, and in fact many are afraid to step up for fear of the age-old “mind your own damned business” attitude they’re likely to receive. To anyone who virtue signals over “standing up against bullies” I say to you - you’re full of shit. Standing up against someone you don’t even really know that well is going to be awkward, and it’s not going to make you look good at all. But that’s the sacrifice you have to make - do you want this sort of behavior in general to continue? Or do you only dislike it when it’s happening to you? You can’t have one without the other. Take the hit for the team and stop this shit. And in my experience, I’ve found that by making that first move, other bystanders who might have been too afraid to act will suddenly gain the resolve to speak out as well. You have more allies than you know. And even if you don’t, so what - right is right.
What this song means to me
The younger me would shamelessly link once again to another blog post where I talked about bullying. I’d probably also talk about suicide, and how this video literally brought me to tears (and it still does… I have it in my cathartic emotional youtube playlist. Sometimes one needs a good cry. Or at least I do. Unless you’d like me to be like most people who bottle everything up and explode at the most inconsequential bullshit…)
Both the younger and older me will point out that one part in the video that got me - the part at the end with the girl hugging her friend, mouthing the words “thank you.” That’s all, I think, most humans need. Empathy. Compassion. We can’t do it all ourselves.
Maybe some of us are suffering just as bad as you. I dare you to open up and talk about it.
I’ve considered suicide at the height of being bullied, and what saved me was hearing from someone else suffering the same problem. Granted, it was in the form of song, sung from the voice of Jonathan Davis in a band called Korn, but I legitimately thought it was only me for the longest time. I thought I was an anomaly… the reject. Turns out the problem was everyone else. Call me weird all you want - I’m not hurting anyone. You are, though… so are you so certain it’s me? Not to mention all the people tacitly standing around letting it happen.
I’ve taken that hit for the team… standing up for people I didn’t even like just because that sort of shit’s just unacceptable. I’m not virtue signaling or looking for accolades - I’m telling you it can be done, and it’s not actually all that bad. Do it.
I’m reminded of a video by Boogie2988 called “RE: My Abuse Story by Matthew Santoro“. If you’re a victim, it seems only 2 things help:
- Talking about it
- Hearing other people’s stories about the same thing
Such stories validate everything, and you don’t feel alone anymore. I stopped feeling alone in my pain when I heard Jonathan Davis scream the same reality I was struggling through. Maybe your wounds will heal if you, too, discover another person suffering just like you are. This is the internet - you’re bound to find someone who is.
I don’t feel the sentiment of “haha I’m better than you now” that the song promotes is a good one, in fact it sounds pretentious, petty, and sophomoric. The winning move is one in which you and that other person can work together, not one in which you’re able to triumph over them. All you’ve done is raise the challenge level. Find a way to make peace, not war.
P.S.
It’s a shame Five Finger Death Punch began to suck over the years. From “Got Your Six” onwards, it’s just been a retread of the same thing, and the childish chest-beating bravado of a testosterone-pumped jock with limited mental capacity is not my idea of a good time. I still like this song for what it is, but I wouldn’t really call myself a fan of Five Finger Death Punch’s music today.
