Well, it certainly was interesting. I went to see Rob Zombie as my first heavy metal concert. A little history between me and Rob Zombie: this was the first heavy metal band I ever liked. It was my introduction to metal at all. Thanks to the Matrix soundtrack, I was on that techno-rock kick (which I now know to be called “industrial metal”). Rob Zombie lead way to Disturbed, and from there on it was all fun. You can read my whole journey of it all here.
Now, here was my first concert. I had high hopes.
Long story short: it wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. It was fun, yes, but I expected so much more.
Short story long: …
After standing in line for what seemed like an eternity, they finally opened the doors. Guess what was on the other side of that door? Another line. Another line to another door that lead to another line.
But, what made this line experience rather interesting was the people (or rather person) in it. This one dude was completely messed up on god knows what. He was holding some kind of mixed drink, and I had to stand behind him. He decided to spark up loud conversation.
“Hey! Do you like Satan?!”
… what? Why are you talking to me, you crazy drunken moron?
Because I’m a critical thinker, I answered with a technically correct answer.
“I don’t know… I’ve never met him.”
“Well, do you think God is forgiving?”
… I … don’t know?
Then he says “Ok Ok… who killed Jesus?”
“The Romans…?”
Well, apparently, this wasn’t the answer he was looking for…
“The Jews, right? Yeah, the Jews! Then who killed the Jews? You think… Hitler?”
“… sure?”
“Well, so Jews killed God, and then Hitler killed Jews… so where do you think Hitler is right now?”
“…Dead?”
“He’s sittin on god’s left! You get me? You see what I’m gettin at? You may not get it now, but tomorrow when ur thinkin about it, you’ll be like damn!”
No, I’ll be thinking “damn, you were really fucked up!” It is a day later as I write this, and guess what? I was right…
I won’t even bother getting into the myriad of fallacies this guy introduced with his assertion. He was drunk and stupid… therefore he’s wrong. That’s all you need to know.
So we finally make it into the stage area. We’re sure to get far away from this guy.
While we’re waiting, he decides to get rowdy.
“Hey! We wanna hear heavy metal!!!!! I’m sick of all this [incoherent] in Detroit. Man, you know what?. Fuck Detroit! Yeah!” Then he started chanting “Fuck De-troit! Fuck De-troit! Fuck De-troit! Fuck De-troit!!!!!”
……………….WHA——————T?!
Right, I’m thoroughly confused at this point. Heavy metal? Detroit? Why does he hate Detroit? Insane Clown Posse’s from Detroit… is that why?
Then he goes on to complain about Forrest Gump. I had no idea where he was going with that one.
Certainly an interesting man. I feel sorry for whoever was responsible for him that night.
That is until he moved over to where I was… And where was that marijuana smell coming from?
“Oh, my e-cig has hash oil! oops! I spilled it! That’s why it smells like weed!”
Odd, since I saw him attempt to be discreet as he lit his perfectly rolled up joint every 10 seconds. Seriously…
Alright, I’m gonna take a moment to stop right here and make an announcement: if you like to smoke pot, good for you. Go smoke it in an area where it’s acceptable. But I don’t want to be around it. It stinks, and it’s harmful (look it up. Joints are worse than cigarettes). It all goes back to the age-old rule: have fun and be happy, as long as you’re not hurting or inconveniencing anyone.
Finally the show starts, and this dude in an orange jumpsuit and a skull mask walks out. There’s this big DJ mixing board there. Alright, so he’ll do some crazy DJ shit… perhaps some EDM or Dubstep… right?
Wrong. He played a playlist of mainstream modern heavy metal songs (Rammstein’s Du Hast and Slipknot’s Duality) before playing a bunch of “older rock” that I’m sure all the 50-year-olds in the audience enjoyed. That old shit has no real intensity or struggle, so I’ve never been able to get into it. I like music that hits you… not make you wanna shake your ass.
I was still bored. After standing around all day, and the room getting hotter, I just wanted to go home.
Finally, Rob Zombie comes out.
This is where shit got good finally, right?
Well, … yeah… but not as much as you’d think.
Rob Zombie is a movie director and horror movie geek. I expected a crazy theatric show. Instead, it was a generic heavy metal show. I’m not saying it was bad or not enjoyable, because it was a good show. I just expected more than that.
There were some cool costume changes and balloons for us to play with… and I got to touch the back of Rob Zombie’s hand at one point… (which is way more cool and way less creepy than it sounds).
But for what it was: it was just a heavy metal show. Normal mosh pit, normal performance.
I wanted to be shocked and amazed… this did neither.
I had fun for what it was, and I went out of respect for getting me into metal. But this show is an extension of why Rob Zombie’s not at the top of my list. Perhaps it’s because it was just some regular Richmond, VA show… I don’t know… But I expected an act! Not a “concert”.
Trans-Siberian Orchestra was more interesting than Rob Zombie.
So that was my experience… A pothead asshole, and a satisfactory show.